Now accepting canine custody consultations — ask for Paulette. First impressions are free.
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Est. 2004 · Harvard Law · Beverly Hills

Woods & Associates

A law firm that takes you seriously — especially when nobody else does. Underestimated clients are our specialty.

Book a consultation What we practice

Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

4.0Founder's GPA
179LSAT score, first try
0Tolerance for harassment
98%Confidence rate, when done properly
1Chihuahua on staff

Practice areas

Serious law. Signature color.

We built this firm around the cases other attorneys roll their eyes at — then lose. We read the fine print, we know our hair-care science, and we never settle out of spite.

Animal welfare

Animal Rights & Welfare Law

From cosmetic-testing litigation to legislative advocacy, we fight for clients who can't testify on their own behalf. We drafted and championed Bruiser's Bill, and we're not done.

Employment

Workplace Harassment & Discrimination

If a senior partner ever made you feel like your only value was in his office after hours, call us. We've been there. He no longer has a job. You still have a career.

Criminal defense

Criminal Defense

We won an acquittal in a nationally televised murder trial on cross-examination alone. The details matter — sometimes the detail is the cardinal rule of perm maintenance.

Family · pets

Canine Custody & Companion Animal Disputes

Your dog is family, and the law can be persuaded to agree. We've reunited clients with their dogs using nothing but common-law precedent and uncommon nerve.

Civil rights

Women's Advocacy

Equal pay, equal credit, equal benefit of the doubt. We represent women who were told to be quieter, smaller, or less pink. We respectfully decline on their behalf.

Pro bono

The Delta Nu Clinic

Our standing pro bono practice for clients who can't afford counsel. Named for the sisterhood that taught us loyalty is a legal strategy.

Landmark result

The People v. Brooke Windham

Our founder's first murder trial — taken over as lead counsel while still a first-year law student. The prosecution had a confession-hungry media, a hostile stepdaughter, and a 30-year age gap. We had one question about a perm.

The witness said she was washing her curls hours after a perm. Anyone who's had one knows the cardinal rule: no water for 24 hours, or the ammonium thioglycolate deactivates and the curl drops. Her hair held. Her story didn't.

Verdict: Not Guilty

Our founder

Elle Woods, Esq.

Harvard Law, Class of 2004. Class-elected speaker. Former president of Delta Nu, CULA. Told by nearly everyone that she didn't belong in a courtroom — a legal opinion that has since been overturned.

  • J.D., Harvard Law School — admitted with a 179 LSAT and a 4.0 in Fashion Merchandising
  • Won acquittal in her first murder trial before graduating
  • Author and lead advocate of Bruiser's Bill, banning animal testing in cosmetics
  • Founder of the firm's zero-tolerance harassment policy — written from experience
  • Accepts résumés on pink paper, scented; it gives them a little something extra

"You must always have faith in people. And most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself."

— Elle Woods, Harvard Law commencement address

The firm

Small firm. Big hair. Bigger wins.

EW

Elle Woods

Founding Partner

Lead counsel on all trial work. Believes the rules of hair care are simple and finite, and that the rules of evidence are too.

ER

Emmett Richmond

Partner

Appellate strategy and the voice of reason at 2 a.m. before trial. Worked his way through law school; never lets anyone here forget where they came from.

PB

Paulette Bonafonté Parcelle

Director, Canine Custody Practice

Our first client became our fiercest advocate. Handles intake, dog reunification, and morale. Invented our signature client-confidence training. It works every time.

B

Bruiser Woods

Chief Morale Officer

Chihuahua. Gemini vegetarian. Namesake of Bruiser's Bill. Attends all depositions; bills zero hours. The office closes annually for his birthday.

What we stand for

Our case, in four arguments

  1. Underestimation is leverage

    Every attorney here has been dismissed as too pink, too cheerful, or too unlikely. Opposing counsel keeps making that mistake. We keep billing for it.

  2. Cruelty-free, in every sense

    No client of ours funds animal testing on our watch, and no employee of ours endures a hostile workplace. Both are non-negotiable. Both are in writing.

  3. Trust is privileged

    If your alibi could end your career, it is safe here. We won a murder trial without ever revealing one. Attorney-client privilege isn't a policy; it's a promise.

  4. Endorphins make good lawyers

    Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't cut corners on discovery. Firm membership includes Brooke's Fitness classes.

Client statements

Sworn and notarized. Mostly.

"She protected my secret when it would have been easier to win without it. Then she won anyway. There is no other lawyer."

Brooke Windham — acquitted

"Dewey kept my dog for years. Elle walked in, said some words — 'habitual residence,' I think? — and I walked out with Rufus. It took four minutes."

P. Bonafonté Parcelle — before joining the firm

"I once told her she wasn't smart enough for this profession. I am now formally retracting that statement, on the advice of my counsel. My counsel is her."

Name withheld — Harvard Law faculty
What, like it's hard?

Book a consultation

Tell us what happened. We'll tell you if you have a case — honestly, in plain English, and usually over something iced.

Prefer email? hello@woodsandassociates.law

OfficeCamden Yards Plaza, Suite 2001
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
Telephone(310) 555-0179
HoursMon–Fri, 9–6
Closed June 1 for Bruiser's birthday